Strategies for Success

Authored by Lew Smallwood
Dynagroup Online (Mob:+61(0)412-546-995)
Skype: dynagrouponline
Email: lew.smallwood@gmail.com
Blog: http://dynagroup-online.blogspot.com

The great therapist Milton Ericson once stated: In the presence of rapport, anything is possible. Rapport is generally defined as the establishment of trust, harmony and cooperation in a relationship. So learning how to create rapport; and develop a deep connection with others will certainly help us to communicate much more effectively. It's said that when people are like each other, they will more readily like each other. When people are not like each other, they will not so readily like each other. When you like someone, you are more willing to assist them, and help them get whatever they want.

Seven percent of our communication effectiveness is about the words we use; thirty eight percent is due to our tone of voice, and fifty five percent is due to our physiology. And most of our communication is outside our conscious awareness. An opportunity therefore exists for us to create more effective nonverbal communication, and that's what establishing rapport is all about.

So what's it take to develop rapport? For people to like and open up to you, you'll need to demonstrate genuine interest in them first. Be interested rather than interesting.

Whenever someone feels that you are interested in knowing and understanding them at a deep level, they will open up and share their true feelings more readily. Therefore we should fully focus with a sincere sense of curiosity about; how they feel, how they think, how they see the world. Their hopes, dreams, and fears, their aspirations and the obstacles they face.

Creating rapport is easy to learn. Influence works at a nonconscious level, so we must first get the other persons nonconscious mind to pay attention. So you should first develop deep rapport prior to putting your point of view. This means you mirror their posture, and match the pitch, pace, and tonality of their voice, and any other behaviour you observe. Cultivate a slow head nod. When you're in rapport with someone and you nod your head, the other person is likely to do the same thing. Every time that person nods their head, it sends an unconscious 'yes' signal to their nervous system.

And we are more likely to follow a suggestion from someone we trust. So when you connect the other person is much more likely to respond to your suggestions. Be sure you match the other person exactly. Yes exactly. Initially start with a slight delay in matching or mirroring; then within a minute or two begin to match the person almost simultaneously. Avoid subtly mirroring; as this won't create a match. Mirror exactly what they do, and do it at the same time as they do.

Anything is possible when you're in deep rapport; so simply pre-suppose you're in rapport and act as if you are. To create rapport, sit upright and relaxed with your legs and feet pointed towards the other person, don't cross your legs, your hands can be flat on your thighs, or loosely held with your fingertips together if you aren't using them to gesture, you should also maintain strong but not intense eye contact. You can; slightly lower your voice tone, touch their arm, raise your eyebrows, move your head to one side, slow down your speaking. With practice, you will be amazed at how quickly and easily you are able to do this.

"Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone's nonconscious mind, and meet them at their 'map of the world' its more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Being able to get into rapport with other people isn't just a key for successful influence; it's also one of the most enjoyable and relaxing skills you can learn because people like to be around people who are in rapport with them." - Jamie Smart

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Bharath Balakrishnan
Founder: www.DragonEnglish.com
Blog:http://dragonenglishcommunity.blogspot.com

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